“A life partner who meets my criteria will never be as good as the life partner He has chosen for me.”


Ray and Helen have many things in common.

They are both professionals in the same industry –human resources.
They are both the youngest in their families. 

Also, they both love to dance, and that’s what brought them together.

However, their differences were greater.

He was 27 and she was 39.

He claims he can’t remember their first date, but she remembers it all!

Their amazing union, despite it all, is what reminds them that there must be a plan and a purpose meant just for them, as a couple.

This is their love story.


How did you two first meet?

R: We met at a dance practice in 2008, when we were practicing for a special dance item for a church service.


How was the first date?

R: I initiated the first date, but I don’t remember the details…

H: I remember! Ray invited me to be his guest at a yacht party organised by his brother. He said that it was a good chance to catch some sea breeze and the night view.


What was the sweetest thing that the other person has done for you?

R: Helen always notices my needs and surprises me with things. There was a period of time when my phone was running very slowly. Then one day, while we were out shopping, she popped into a shop and bought me a brand new phone to replace my sluggish one.

More recently, I fell very sick and became restless. She was very accommodating to my every demand during that period. I felt really blessed to be able to recuperate and rest under her loving care.

H: Ray takes very good care of me. He is also very respectful to my family. Whenever anyone in my family needs help, he would always go the extra mile for them without questioning or complaining. He always tells me that we must help our family members whenever we can.


Was it difficult to decide that he/she is the one?

R: It didn’t take me long to realise that she is the one for me. The difficult part was in deciding whether I could accept our differences. We even discussed a few issues about coming together as one.

H: Ditto!


How was the process like?

H: Going through the relationship assessment period was tough for us. We had to deal with the many differences between us and confront the tough questions that could potentially break our relationship.

One of these differences was age. I would never have considered a younger man. But God, through the relationship assessment phase that took more than a year, helped me to realise that a life partner who meets my criteria will never be as good as the life partner He has chosen for me.

R: Likewise, when I was younger, my criteria of a wife included that she must not be older than me. Growing up, God changed my belief that the age is just a number, not a function of maturity or compatibility.


What are some of the challenges you encountered as a married couple?

R: For starters, even sleeping was a problem! She is a light sleeper, but I tend to snore. So for a good period of time, she was not getting enough rest.

H: I am more particular about how things are placed or left around in the house. Ray, on the other hand, tends to be more easygoing in these areas.


How did you overcome the rougher patches of married life?

R: I believe a family that prays together stays together. So we often pray together as a family unit for the different issues we face.

H: We talk through our expectations to better understand how each other thinks. It is really to make sure that we respect and accommodate our differences. 


What do you treasure most in this marriage?

R: I’m most thankful for the open communication in our relationship.


What are some things that you guys enjoy doing together as a couple?

H: Our love language is quality time, and we love to do things together as a couple. For example, we enjoy buying the groceries together, visiting each other’s families, or simply just packing up the house together as a couple.


What about Valentine’s Day?

R: We don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day as we find it too commercially driven. Instead, we like to celebrate days with special meaning to us, such as our wedding anniversary and birthdays, by going overseas!


But is there anything you would like to say to Helen this Valentine’s?

R: Thanks for being a part of me and making me a better man. You complement my weaknesses and elevate my strengths.You never fail to remind me of God’s faithfulness and goodness. I give thanks and glory to God for all that we have gone through and I’m anticipating what God can do through us as a couple and as a family in the future. I love you and here’s to many more Valentine’s Day ahead!

About Ray and Helen

Ray and Helen’s third wedding anniversary is coming up on 9 March 2015. This year, they are looking forward to starting a family of their very own. They also plan to dedicate themselves to helping young couples work on issues that may potentially break a relationship.

They believe that their experiences will be invaluable to the courting couples and newly weds.

Currently, Ray and Helen are both serving as a stage manager and vocalist respectively.